"Our hearts are not ours."
This simple quote hits my heart well. There was a tiring incident happen these past few days that I have encountered. Now, when thinking back over it after trying to calm myself, I've ended up with, "Biarlah. Let it go."
I went to study in the cafe while trying to detach myself from it. So, with Bismillah I started doing my revision although my mind just could not focus well. But at least I tried.
There was an old lady, aged around 60 who sat at the table in front of me. From her appearance and her 'bags', I realized she is a homeless. She was in the cafe trying to warm herself with a cup of porridge I guess. Oh, it was corn soup yesterday. Another thing, yep it was a bit windy yesterday. I sat quite close to the door, I could feel the coldness every time the door was opened.
She even slept for a while there.
After 2 hours approximately, she came to me asking about the time. With my poor Czech, we talked a bit about life. She could see I am studying my 'course' and hope that younger generations love to study as well (I am not sure if I understand this right). And well, another expected question was "Are you planning to stay?" How I wish haha. But nope, my decision is going home, I told her.
She looked tired. With an old sleeping bag, a worn out trousers and shoes, she walked out of the cafe, slowly.
Suddenly, I realized I have not done my infaq this month so I decided to give some to her. It was a pity that I did not bring much money. She was quite shocked and it was a bit awkward when people kept staring at us. But, I seriously cannot forget how bright her face was that time.
Allah, it is actually easy to make someone smile.
I continued studying and few hours later I saw her again. She came back with something in her grip. Walking to me, suddenly she said 'Assalamualaikum'. I am not sure if she is a Muslim or she simply knew I am a Muslim, but she thanked me so much. It was getting hard to understand what she was trying to say. Suddenly a young girl next to my table translated her words to me.
"The Easter chocolate is for you, she said she really appreciate your kind deed."
I. Am. Just. Fragile.
"Our hearts are not ours. We cannot even control our hearts, how can we expect to control others. Keep on praying to the Owner of these hearts."
I will, thanks my little sister for your beautiful sharing.
I am going home sooooon (hopefully for Eid), fighting Nina fighting! Less than 2 months left!